The In-Between

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I sat down the other night to watch a popular series that everyone has been talking about.

I was excited to have a new show and I was pretty confident that I would like it from reading the synopsis.

20 minutes in I felt something I wasn’t too familiar with.

I felt repulsed, as my grandma used to say about many things in her day.

I was noticing every cuss word. I noticed numerous occasions of blasphemy.
Why was there so much sex and violence?

Why was this bothering me so much?

I felt,for lack of better terms…yucky sitting in my own livingroom.
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Skip to the next day while I was getting my workout in and I put on one of my favorite rock mixes and…same thing.

These are songs and bands I normally love. But for the first time I was noticing the hate in the words.

I kept thinking about how hurt and damaged the singers must be to feel this way, because honestly I used to feel the same way. How skewed their view of sex and women were, and how it seemed they were desperately lacking fulfillment in their lives.

I was confused. Instead of singing at the top of my lungs to these rock anthems like I have my whole life, it was hitting different.

I pondered if I was having an identity crisis.

Do you ever feel stuck in the in between?

That is how you know God is working on you. You realize your old ways and what you like can not coexist with God’s truth.
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It’s never easy giving up ungodly behaviors and thought patterns.

Desperate to cling to what I knew my whole life, I was fearful to relinquish full control of my heart to Jesus for a long time.

I used to think being a Christian would make me become boring and prudent.

Each day that passes and the more time I spend in God’s word, the more I become like Him.

Focusing on the lovely and pure, seeking His will, and His guidance.

Letting Him influence me more than the world. Doing the right thing because it feels better than guilt, and displacement.

I am being transformed!

That’s the miraculous beauty of it all, Jesus will do that.

And He does it so well!

And guess what…He can do it for absolutely every single person!

All you have to do is read God’s word and allow Him to move.

Your views will change.

You’ll notice that the things you took pleasure in before just don’t do it for you anymore.

I’ll admit being in between the transformation is a feeling that is unfamiliar, and am still nowhere near perfect in my faith journey.

But I imagine just like a butterfly going through metamorphosis there is beauty in the transformation.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2 NLT