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I’m guilty of letting myself go THERE.
Actually, if I’m really honest with myself I pretty much stay there… I kind of live in this negative headspace.
I am predisposed to it.
It’s what comes naturally.
I was raised by doomsday pessimistic people. It is in my DNA.
Maybe back in the day, it used to be a way of survival or a defense mechanism to always be prepared for the worst.
Then on down the family line it got all jumbled up and passed to me.
It combined with my constant over-analyzing mind, manifesting as constant anxiety, doubt, and joy self-sabotage.
Growing up, if someone in my family wasn’t constantly worried about something, then someone must be ill. After all, there’s always the possibility of rain.
Oh, chicken little the sky is falling!!
It is so irrational.
It has taken a long time for me to even recognize this about myself.
Up until the age of 30 I just thought this was the way of life.
To always evaluate what can go wrong in every situation.
Until it occurred to me………
What if I don’t?
What if I don’t dwell all day over hurts and rejection.
What if I don’t fear every little sickness that strikes our home?
What if I quit thinking about all I am constantly lacking?
What if I don’t focus on everything that could go wrong but all that could go right?
What if this time I just DIDN’T entertain those negative thoughts?
What would that be like?
For the most part, I really wouldn’t know.
What if I seriously made a conscious effort to listen to God instead of my fear and negativity?
I read about it. I talk about it. I mean I even have the audacity to tell others how to do it.
Why is it so extremely hard to live it?
It will take a lot of work to bring negative thoughts and self-talk to a screeching halt.
But I know it would be worth it.
I am in awe when I come across a person that counteracts my way of thinking, always looking at the bright side.
I truly do crave a life that radiates positivity.
I want to be able to stop and think about the big picture.
The picture that God sees.
Satan has been getting the glory for too long!
I want the positive possibilities to be the default thoughts.
I want to live what I speak to other people.
Here’s to rewiring my brain for 2021.