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I love my job.
Have I mentioned that lately?
Well, I do. Ask me in a month and I might say differently. There are times where if you would have asked me 6 months ago, I would have just looked at you and cried. Even with that being the case, I still would not want to do anything else, anywhere else. I always end up coming back to deep gratitude for the opportunity to be at home.
I mean yeah, I LOVE to write and hope to make a full-time career of that one day but I love being with my kids every day. I have always hated working. I never felt valued, I never felt accomplished no matter what job I had. It wasn’t the job it was me.
It never felt right for me to pay someone else to take care of and spend more time with my child than I got to. When I worked, I always felt like I was just doing it for someone else and never felt like I owned my job title or that was who I was. While I was at work, I would be thinking of the tons of stuff I needed to do or would rather be doing at home. Home is where I felt valued and home is where I felt that the work I did mattered. This is what I’m good at. I even wrote an entire article about it you can read about it here.
With the threat of Christmas (ha-ha) rapidly approaching I find myself a little frantic thinking about how much financial help we need around the holidays and how I should be helping to contribute financially. Caving under the pressure, I jump on the job boards to see what’s out there. Ten minutes later I shudder and cringe reading through the 5 paragraphs of “job duties” and “expectations” for each job. No, no, no and nope! Not me, not worth it, I don’t wanna. It is not that I am lazy, I would say my “job duties” working at home is way longer than any on the job boards, it just seems meaningless to me.
I often find myself thinking, maybe if I finished my bachelor’s in psychology degree and got that counseling job I dreamed of I would feel differently. But I don’t know, I don’t think it is so much about the type of work as it is me wanting to be 100% involved in the upbringing of my children. If my kids make bad choices or have behavior problems then guess what…. that’s on me. I won’t be analyzing if it is because of something that happened at daycare. Yet, also, if my toddler starts putting together a puzzle like a pro, or my son picks up his Bible to read it’s because of the effort I put in working with them.
I’m structured, I thrive, I’m determined, I am never bored. Just when sometimes things start to feel complacent things change. Kids change and grow fast! I want my kids to have the security of me being available to them.
So today after a walk and outside play, my daughter and I sit listening to piano ballads on the Google Hub, while sharing our lunch together, I realize……man, I love my job! God has been gracious, and I never want to stop expressing my gratitude on how much I value that I get to do this.
It definitely has perks and the benefits far outweigh the days when I want to pull my hair out and cry in the corner. I’ll take a bad day at home any day rather than a bad day at the office. So for the stay-at-home moms that may feel guilty or that staying at home doesn’t have as much value as working outside of the home, rest assured you are doing one of the most valuable jobs you could ever do. You’ll never look back and regret it!