I Got Married
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I got married over the weekend!
It was a tiny quick little ceremony at my pastor’s house.
No-fuss!
That’s how we preferred it.
The most interesting thing about this ceremony is that I married the same guy I did the first time.
The same guy!
Crazy right?
How does one end up marrying the same man twice one might wonder.
Well, let me tell you.
It took a ton of patience on his part!
We met in 2001. We had a baby in 2004. We got married for the first time in 2005. Divorced in 2011. Then started letting each other back in during 2014. We had another baby in 2017. And lost a baby in 2019. Finally, to commit to each other again now at the end of 2019.
Again crazy!
I won’t lie.
It was mostly me.
It takes a lot of confusion, immaturity, self-doubt, zero self-confidence that someone could actually love me as much as he did, and a belief that the grass is always greener on the other side.
During all this time I have learned so much.
If I had the chance to do it all over again, I would have told the younger version of me that relationships are not what you think they are.
There is no perfect guy.
Relationships are not dramatic, emotional rollercoasters and they definitely don’t hurt physically.
Love is steady. Not always passionate but steady.
Marriage is not glamorous!
Marriage is the person that has seen every single side of you, been through hell and back and still wants to be with you.
A commitment.
A partnership in parenting.
It is not liking each other sometimes but yet at the same time unconditionally loving each other.
But the most important thing I have come to realize is how vital of a role a father plays in a girl’s life. That will be the basis of which they base their self-confidence and approval.
Without that, you will always end up with the guy that doesn’t see your worth. Because why would he value you when you don’t value yourself?
This also helped open my eyes to what I want for both my children to have their parents under one roof. A solid foundation for them to grow up on.
I’m so blessed that God gave me Ronnie and that he waited for me.
When I pushed him away, he stood his ground.
He was there all along proving to me what real love looked like.
His feelings never wavered when I was lost and confused.
God opened my heart to what was there all along.
It may have taken much longer than intended but I finally surrendered to God’s persistent voice telling me to do the right thing.
One thing is for sure, this time feels so much different……… I’m different.
( I think I sense a whole new blog series coming about this soon.)
January 11, 2020 @ 12:30 am
Congratulations! What an amazing journey you have had. Thank you for sharing it.
January 11, 2020 @ 1:42 am
It definitely has been a journey. Thanks for reading.
December 20, 2019 @ 1:31 pm
I’m so happy for the both of you! Love isn’t easy, but with the right person it is worth it! Thanks for sharing your journey with us
December 20, 2019 @ 1:11 pm
I am actually so happy for you even though I don’t know you! And you are so right in that a girl really needs to know the love of a father in order to help her see her true value and worth. I’m still learning this from my heavenly Father.
December 20, 2019 @ 4:10 pm
Alexandra, thanks for reading. You are so sweet. Yes it is so important to know your worth when looking for a partner.
December 19, 2019 @ 7:46 pm
Wow, Congratulations…I hope this is it! You have found True love that’s for sure!! This proves Love exists.
December 19, 2019 @ 6:47 am
Congratulations on getting married. May you two have a long, happy life together.
December 19, 2019 @ 2:12 am
You’re right, there is no perfect guy BUT it sounds like this one might just be ‘the one’ for you. To have faced all of those challenges and still come together to get married once again, there is obviously a reason why you are still in one another’s lives. Congratulations! I wish you all the best in this chapter of your lives together.
December 20, 2019 @ 4:13 pm
Britt, I think you’re right….there must be a reason we have remained in each other’s lives. We shall see. Thank you!
December 17, 2019 @ 10:02 pm
Dear Amy, Huge huge congratulations and may you have and continue to grow on this old/new journey together. You must be a very special lady for him to persist and now you have both won the ‘lotto’
December 17, 2019 @ 10:12 pm
Thank you Esme.
December 17, 2019 @ 9:21 pm
I nearly have tears in my eyes reading this. Congratulations and I wish you many years of happiness.
December 17, 2019 @ 10:13 pm
Thanks so much Ivana and thanks for reading.
December 17, 2019 @ 7:48 pm
This post made me tear up. How sweet are both of you. I know that sometimes it takes experiences in life to understand the true meaning. I am so happy that he stuck by you through thick and thin and made you happy. Wishing you love and happiness and tons of fun in 2020 and beyond.
December 17, 2019 @ 6:19 pm
Congratulations on your marriage and I’m glad you found each other. Marriage is not easy especially when there are children involved. It takes work on both sides but I love how you said “Marriage is the person that has seen every single side of you, been through hell and back and still wants to be with you”. This is so true. I’ve been married for 25 years and known my wife for 30 or so years and finding the right person isn’t easy. I’m glad you found happiness.
December 17, 2019 @ 10:13 pm
Wow Scott 30 years….congrats to you!
December 17, 2019 @ 4:50 pm
Congratulations! Marriage is wonderful but no one realises just how much work and commitment it takes. Worth every moment though. Thank you for your honesty in this post.
December 17, 2019 @ 4:52 pm
Thanks for your kind words.
December 17, 2019 @ 4:44 pm
I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby! I also am happy you two reencountered each other and built an awesome family. Congratulations on your commitment to each other, may it be forever!
December 17, 2019 @ 4:53 pm
Awe Aryanne thanks for reading and thanks for your condolences.
December 17, 2019 @ 4:27 pm
Congratulations! And I wish you all a happy future. You’re right, nobody is perfect, and life is steady, not just marriage, but it’s the people you spend time with that’s important.
December 17, 2019 @ 3:43 pm
Wow! Your life story would make a great novel. Congrats for hanging in there. You were meant to be together. 🙂
December 17, 2019 @ 4:53 pm
That is the plan!!😉