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Losing Delaney has opened my eyes to so many things that have been at work around me before, during, and after her loss. Things that I previously would have never noticed.
Looking back, I wasn’t sure why I kept seeing so many stories of women who had lost their babies. Was it that common? Having two previously healthy pregnancies and babies, I didn’t realize how this affected 1 in 4 women. Maybe it was God’s way of preparing me for what was to come. Putting the women directly in my path and opening my eyes to just how many women deal with this. I guess you could say in a way when I lost my baby girl at 15 weeks, I knew I was not alone in experiencing this tragedy and even knew the intense emotion of what was to come by reading other’s stories.
Then there were other signs I experienced before and after her loss.
I noticed a butterfly…pale yellow, fluttering its wings so slowly and softly while it stayed in place right inside Journey’s bedroom window. At the time I was so focused on how it got in there trapped between the glass and the screen. Especially when I had finally put the screen in the right way, bugs weren’t supposed to be getting in as they did before when I had them in wrong. And I just hoped it would find its way out the same way it had gotten in.
Then there was the fact that my toddler had suddenly, all together quit sleeping in her crib. She would no longer be left in her room at night or day to nap or sleep. She seemed terrified, whereas before she would ask for naps, and her crib was her safe haven she loved to be in. It is like she sensed the change, that something drastic was building up.
There was also the night her dad went to go check on her and felt chills as he turned around feeling as though he had seen a glimpse of my grandma a couple of nights before we got the news about Delaney.
And now after our loss.
Every time I step outside there is a beautiful Monarch butterfly. It flew around me on the front porch as I sat reading my Bible, it drifted above me fluttering beautifully between the tree limbs as I sat on the hammock. Then there was the time it went before me while I walked to the mailbox, amazingly even when I took my eyes off of it, I would still instantly know where to look to find it again as it floated in front of me.
I know people say that when tragedy happens people look for signs, anything to cling on to for hope or answers.
And that could just be the case.
But I feel like the butterflies found me. I wasn’t looking for a sign, it was looking for me, making sure I was paying attention.
But………. I will tell you that if I believe for one second, and let my mind go to the mystical heavenly realm of what it COULD mean, I experience an overwhelming peace and joy.
If that is my sign that my precious daughter’s beautiful soul is safe, sound, and happy in the arms of Jesus and her family that proceeds her, especially my grandma, then there could be no other better circumstance for her.
To experience her exclusive, loving communication with me in the only way that she can… I will take it! I will believe it! I will look for it with my heart wide open!
I WILL TAKE IT!
From the website: https://www.ask-angels.com/spiritual-guidance/butterfly-meaning/ — “And guess what? Yes, butterflies are an incredibly common sign from deceased loved ones! Seeing butterflies shortly after losing a loved is a beautiful sign that the spirit of your loved one lives on. Have you had a butterfly land on you, follow you, or catch your attention in another beyond the ordinary way? Angels Sending Butterflies? In the case of seeing butterflies in connection to deceased loved ones, sometimes angels will send butterflies to comfort and reassure you that the soul of your loved one lives on. Other times your loved one may put some of their soul essence into a butterfly to actually connect with you physically once again. So there you have it. Really, looking at butterflies from a number of angles, the answer appears. These magical winged messengers really are delivering guidance and love from spirit. So next time you see a butterfly, in addition to marveling at its lightness and ability to float through the sky… Take a moment to quiet your mind, pay attention, and with your intuition, tune in.“