37 Started with a Bang….continued

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The next day we had planned to swim but it wasn’t hot or sunny enough so we went out and about to try to finish our shopping.  Luckily, all that went smoothly and we got to go to some new stores we’d never been to before.  We scored some awesome new Adidas kicks and we began to feel like things were finally working out.

Back at the hotel that evening to get ready for the concert we were excited. Doing our usual pre-concert makeup contour routine and getting to try out all our new treasures from Ulta.  Looking glam we headed to the outdoor venue, excited that we had seats under the awning and out of the sun and off the ground, we were ready to rock.

The Wayback Tour

We got there right as Gin Blossoms were starting.  They sounded just as great live as they did on the radio years ago, and our seats were in an awesome location!

They had a great set, short but great.  There were 8 bands on this tour and we had a long evening ahead of us.  Next up was Everclear.  I was so excited!  I spent a good part of the late 90’s obsessed with their album So Much for the After Glow.  I saw Art come on the stage and freaked out, he looked just like he always had just a little older…. like the rest of us.  They played all their hits and it was awesome. 

Oh Look…..more rain

After their set, we had plenty of time before the next band took the main stage so we went to the bathroom and when we came out, it was RAINING!! Not just raining but actually pouring……again!  We darted back to our seats under the awning, at this point we were especially thankful for covered seating.  However, all the people that had seats that were not covered had moved like a heard of cattle up around our seats and gathered around us in their dripping wet clothes. Super! As long as they moved when the next band started everything would be fine.  At that point, a man takes the stage and reports that because of the lightning the next band and all the bands to follow would be delayed about an hour. 

That’s it!  We were shot!  Sick of the weather ruining everything and situations we kept finding ourselves in we just wanted to leave.  Again, with no umbrellas, we waited for the rain to slow pace and bolted.  The only problem was, our car was parked at least a mile away. Not only did we get rained on but we were wading through so much standing water in our NEW SHOES!

It Happens

Defeated, disappointed and soaked we jumped in the car and headed out……without seeing Collective Soul.  We headed back to the hotel, knowing that was it.  In the morning it was time to head back home.  We didn’t really successfully conquer anything we had planned and we felt like we had lost our touch. No swimming because of the weather, being held hostage in a tornado shelter because of the weather, a super weird dining experience, and now missing the concert.  So much money wasted, and so much struggle, but all in all I was still glad to have a weekend out of town with my sister.

Please God, Not Again

On the way home I noticed an old familiar pain in my armpit and under my right breast.  I knew exactly what was happening, I had been through this twice before.  I began to have a panic attack just thinking of what this meant and what an ordeal it always becomes. Within the past 8 years, I have had a very painful large cyst removed from under my breast on 2 different occasions and it was happening again.

Why does this keep happening?  What triggers it?  How am I going to deal with this now having a toddler to take care of when it usually puts me out of commission for so long?  Each time it has been removed in its entirety, supposedly, with the promise of it not coming back, yet here I am. 

Each day for the past week it has continued to get worse and more painful like it always does.  I got on antibiotics right away, but honestly, nothing seems to help.  Nothing I have ever done in the past helps or makes it go away. 

Nearly 4 days after the antibiotics there has been no sign of relief.  It is excruciatingly painful and growing larger every day.  Yesterday I got some relief from my doctor when she drained it. 

So here I sit as I type to you with a small incision and packing stuffed in me, scared waiting for the culture to come back and not knowing why this keeps happening, and living in fear of it always coming back.

The only thing you can count on…Things Will Always Change

There have been good moments since my birthday and I know I still have a lot to be grateful for, don’t get me wrong, but apparently, I am in one of those rough seasons. I’ve been here before and I am very familiar. I pray it ends soon. I feel like I haven’t been getting many answers or clarity from God and think maybe this is one of those tests that I am failing miserably.  Then it occurred to me the other day……if God is good then he is good all the time, even during the bad times.  I HAVE to trust that things will get better.

If this is 37 I choose to be 22 again.  Here’s to hoping the next 11 months shapes up.